3 Ways That Sex Before Marriage Can Confuse You About “The One”

Mar 05 2016

I used to think a guy was “the one” just because we had sex.

I would go out on a date with him, have an orgasm during sex, and immediately start to imagine us spending the rest of our lives together.

Since I didn’t know that sex outside of marriage was a sin, I would continue to sleep around with what I thought was my potential husband.

Date after date, this pattern repeated itself.

The result was a whole bunch of bondage, soul ties, and hurt.

I was going about finding my future husband the wrong way.

I was sleeping around to make men stay with me, dating around to find love, and trying to discover my self-worth through the mirror of some man’s eyes.

Having premarital sex and ungodly relationships surely confused me about who God really had for me.

When you have sex with someone, you become “one” with that individual.

Your bodies connect and your spirits transfer, causing you to develop unhealthy emotional ties, also known as soul ties.

It was no wonder I was so confused about who “the one” was. I had become “one” with too many guys to observe any relationship with a clear perspective!

After I understood the serious spiritual nature of sex, it became clear to understand why God wanted me to wait until marriage.

It was a risky, dangerous act to spiritually bond myself to men through sex. But, as a woman who felt the need to fill my voids through orgasms and dates, I failed to follow God’s voice and went on with my own desires.

Consequently, every man I slept with left me with confusing feelings that he was the “one” because we had already become “one” spiritually.

Now, you may understand why it’s so hard to shake off an ex you’ve had sex with.

After you’ve gotten you’ve had your orgasm, your mind may be saying, “Well, it’s just sex, it’ll be fine.”

But, your spirit and soul have already created an emotionally strong tie with that person. So, no matter how much you try to be Samantha from Sex and the City, you can’t.

You weren’t designed to be.

The consequences are that you believe he’s “the one” and he’s who God has for you.

When, in reality, your mindset is only a result of an unhealthy, emotional tie that you created on your own.

Along the way, I’ve learned there are 3 ways that sex before marriage can confuse you:

Sex clouds your judgement– When you open up the door to sex, you begin to look at the man according to what he can do for your body, and not who he truly is.
Sex causes you to focus on the physical, not the mental– Sex will naturally cause you to focus on each other’s bodies, instead of your minds. Unfortunately, this takes valuable time away that you could be using to get to know one another and build the foundation of your relationship.
Sex releases a desire to commit– As women, we will naturally have a longing to commit to someone we lay down with. So, when you have sex outside of marriage, you can confuse your mind by beginning to think that you want a formal commitment with someone that you actually don’t.

Coming to understand who the “one” is should only be done with a clear, open mind. Without the bondage of sexual ties, it’s easier to see for yourself whether the man you’re dating is actually someone God wants you to marry.

Want to prepared for your Godly husband and learn more about how to grow closer to God?…

…My book, I Believe in God, Now What? , shares my many battles with depression, relationships, sex, rape, and addiction to help deepen your relationship with God. This book is sure to answer your questions about your single life and help you move further in your walk with Christ.