I once went through a horrible break up with the man I thought I would marry.
We were talking about wedding plans and on the verge of setting a wedding a date.
About two years into the relationship, it was clear that God was leading us separate ways.
God had a desire for me to dive deeper into Him as a single woman, focus my efforts solely on Him, and concentrate on the tasks I needed to take care of for His Kingdom.
If you or a sister is wondering whether your ex is who God has for you, I encourage you to read what I’ve learned:
- Acts 1:7 (AMPC): Times and seasons are in God’s control, not yours – God checked me when I realized that I have no control over the true purpose for a relationship in my life. We get so attached to the people that come into our lives that we forget God’s power. Submit to God’s timing and stop using this time to wonder if you all will get back together. Become acquainted with God, not the unhealthy desire to control time and events.
- Philippians 3:16 (AMPC): He was never truly yours in the first place – Although you and your ex may have grown close as couple, you were never married. Therefore, in God’s eyes, you were never more than friends/sister and brother in Christ. Shocking, I know. But, it’s true. You haven’t officially attained a man until he becomes your spouse. If you’ve given your life to the Lord, He’s the only thing you’ve truly attained. Hold fast to Him.
- 1 Peter 4:8 (AMPC): I still love him, what do I do? – Yes, you should still love him. Remember that love (patience, kindness, etc.) is an action, not a feeling (1 Corinthians 13:4-8, AMPC). Feelings can fade with time. Love, on the other hand, should never end because we are called to love everyone. Regardless of whether he did you wrong or if you guys had the best relationship, love him through prayer. No, I’m not talking about praying for you all to get back together. Pray for his maturity and growth in the Lord. If you truly love him, you’ll want the best for him, regardless of whether that includes you or not.
- Is it ok to still think I’m his wife? – Pray for your ex as a friend and sister, not as a future wife. Remember that you can only hold true to something if you’ve already attained it or God has claimed it as yours. Don’t be foolish by using your mind to plan a future with someone God hasn’t said is yours. James 4:13-17 (AMPC) tells us that we don’t know what tomorrow will bring. For all you know, God could’ve only had your ex in your life to prepare you for your actual husband. Or, he could be your husband but God is simply using your break up to mature you for marriage. Either way, don’t claim him as yours until you know from God, not your emotions.
- What do I do now? – Focus less on whether he’s your man and more on how God can use this time to prepare you to be a wife for whoever He desires. Commit to investing complete trust in God, regardless of the outcome. God will keep you at peace when your mind is stayed on Him (Isaiah 26:3 KJV). Understand that because of Christ, your destiny will be promised with or without your ex in your life. Direct all the hurt, pain, and sorrow you feel into energy for God’s Word. If you don’t know how to read God’s Word or pray, I encourage you to check out my book, I Believe in God, Now What? which is on sale for $2.17. (or get the free book sample below)