4 reasons you should stop fantasizing about your crush


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I once thought about this guy for months out of pride and insecurity.

God made it clear that it was time for us to go our separate ways and that I should focus on being single.

Yet, I spent months fantasizing about the future I wanted us to have together.

I was living in my own imagination.

Even worse, God had made it clear that, although we dated, this guy was actually meant for someone else-not me!

But, despite the warning, I kept on with my imaginations.

I was stuck on another woman’s blessing.

Being stuck on another woman’s blessing doesn’t just exist through affairs or cheating, it exists in the mind, too.

Some of us spend months and years daydreaming over some guy that God doesn’t even want for us! All the while, He is calling you to focus on Him, not some man.

Yet, your imaginations become your idol. Then, when God doesn’t honor your imaginations, you get mad at Him because you realize the guy you wanted isn’t yours. Yet, he was never yours.

It was all in your mind.

Anytime God makes it clear that you should move away from a guy or doesn’t tell you someone is for you, yet you continue on with your imaginations, you are stuck on another woman’s blessing.

God hasn’t called you to be with that man.

I used to be you. So, let’s look at a few tips I’ve learned along the way that have helped me get out of the imagination zone. Here are 4 reasons you should stop fantasizing about your crush:

  1. Lost faith– Imaginations can cause you to have depression, discouragement, and even lack faith in God because you begin to put your trust in your own imaginations, instead of Him. 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 commands us to cast down all imaginations. My pastor, Dr. Shane Wall, preached an insightful sermon on the dangers of living according to our own imaginations. I encourage you to watch it here.
  2. Fantasies are your own will -You can’t clearly hear God when your mind is cluttered with your own will and imaginations that don’t line up with His desires. Phillipians 4:8tells us to only think thoughts that are praise worthy to God. It’s just as important to think the right thoughts as it is to cast down the negative thoughts. So, as you declutter your mind from your imaginations, make sure to replace the space by meditating on God’s Word and His promises throughout the day. As you replace your mental space with His Word, it will also become a lot easier for you to hear His voice.
  3. Only put faith in what God says– God is only responsible for His Word. Another reason we shouldn’t imagine is because it causes us to put faith in something God never promised. Only believe what God says, not what you desire.
  4. Anxiousness– There’s a problem if almost every time you see a guy, you’re asking God “is he the one?” Then, you go off creating a whole scenario in your mind about how you all will end up together. When your imagination doesn’t happen, you start to develop anxiousness, worry, and fear. Rest your soul. Instead of imagining who your future spouse will be, its better to just wait and see what God says.

If God has called you to be single in this season of your life, your mental focus is an essential part of your growth process.

How can God have your entire attention if you’re constantly thinking of some man, ex, or wannabe boo?

Let’s not just be single in our status, let’s be single in our minds and hearts, too.

He needs all of you!

Want to be prepared for your Godly husband?…


IBIGNW Mockup Then I encourage you to check out my book, I Believe in God, Now What? , which shares my story of overcoming addiction, promiscuity, rape, and a suicidal attempt to help you draw closer to God and move closer to becoming the woman He’s called you to be.

  1. Click here to buy the book or click here to get the free book sample.
  2. Click here to get the book plus my free 27 day devotional, the 27 Day Bible Study Challenge , which will help you to learn to read the Bible and spend consistent time with Him.
  3. Click here to get the book plus my free Proverbs 31 Woman Prayer Challenge devotional, which will teach you how to get a “yes” answer to your prayers and have a deeper prayer life.


At the end of August, I’ll be preaching in Port Elizabeth, South Africa to a crowd of youth. If you are in that area, check out the event details here: Crisp Women Conference.

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