4 Ways to Know You’ve Been Waiting on Your Man for Too Long

Flashback to 2007...I took this shot in the Domincan Republic on the beach during a study abroad trip. I was having a lot of fun travelling the world and being successful in the world, but my heart was miserable. Around the time of taking this pic, I was also being super promiscuous and staying in relationships that God didn't want me to be in. God's ways are always perfect. Trust Him, not your feelings

Flashback to 2010..when I was being promiscuous and staying in relationships I didn’t belong in. God’s timing is perfect. Trust Him to lead you, not your feelings

Looking back, I can remember so many instances where I stayed in relationships out of pride, instead of love.

I was either too insecure to believe in waiting for God’s best, or I had too much pride to listen to God’s commands.

Either way, I always ended up wasting time and God either had to destroy the tie that I had created, or I had to learn the hard way that God was trying to protect me from a broken heart.

I can recall this one instance where I prayed, prayed, and prayed for this one particular guy to wake up and notice me. I spent at least a year holding on to something that God didn’t have for me.

I was waiting on a man for too long.

God kept trying to close the door on something that I was desperately trying to pry open.

I acted needy and desperate. I claimed to trust God with my life, but truthfully, I had more trust in my own abilities than His.

I had more faith in keeping someone around that wasn’t for me than actually letting someone go so God could do His work in my life.

So, how do you know if you’ve been holding on to a guy for too long? Here are 4 ways I had to learn the hard way. Learn from my mistakes:

  1. God is pulling you a part but you keep holding on– Remember the story of Lot’s wife in the Bible? Lot, Lot’s wife, and his family were led by the Lord to leave the evil city of Sodom because of all its sin. Lot’s family was commanded by the Lord’s angels to not look back at Sodom as God destroyed it. In disobedience, Lot’s wife looked back at the city and she turned into a pillar of salt (Genesis 19).

The real error behind Lot’s wife decision wasn’t simply that she looked back, but her heart behind looking back. Her disobedience represented that her heart was still holding on to something that God was trying to destroy. Don’t let your heart be attached to something that God is trying to destroy.

You may be crying to the Lord to bless you with a “new” thing, but, just like Lot’s wife, if you’re still holding on to the past in your heart, you’ll only take old ways into a new blessing.

  1. He isn’t saved, but you hold on to him hoping you’ll get him to come to church– I’ve been guilty of this one too many times. Simply put, it’s not a woman’s heart that draws a man to God. It’s God’s love that draws Him to people.

You didn’t come to have a love for God by someone forcing Him down your throat. So, why do you think that’ll work with someone else?

It’s God’s love that brought you closer to Him. So, the longer you stay in a man’s way “hoping” you can “make” him get saved, the longer you could actually be blocking the blessing towards his salvation.

  1. He attends church, but he isn’t obedient to what God says– Quoting scriptures, having a church title, or church ties don’t mean a man truly has a heart for the Lord. If God has truly shown you a guy’s heart, stop trying to make God a liar by trying to force yourself to see something that God has already said isn’t true. Trust God’s Word and move forward.
  2. You believe you won’t be able to do better– God hasn’t given you a spirit of fear. If you don’t believe you’ll be able to do better, you’re operating out of fear, not faith. Cast that spirit of insecurity on to God by tearing apart from your idol relationship and replacing that time with God’s Word. Then, do a personal Bible study on “fear” by doing a word search for “fear” via BibleGateway.com.

Just a couple of things I want to share with you….

  1. DC flyer general I’m hosting a 1-day Christian Career Networking conference for middle, high school, and college girls on June 17!

The conference is based off my own testimony of working for notable companies like CNN, travelling the world, yet still being empty, not living for God’s Word and struggling with addiction and promiscuity.

My heart is to show women and girls that living for God is the truest form of success and being successful in His eyes while having the career He wants for you is possible! Seating is limited. Register by April 30th to get a free business blazer with your registration! Check out DestinyConference.net for more info!

  1. IBIGNW Mockup I encourage you to check out my book, I Believe in God, Now What ? , which shares my story of overcoming addiction, promiscuity, rape, and a suicidal attempt to help you draw closer to God and move closer to becoming the woman He’s called you to be. Click here to buy the book or click here to get the free book sample.
  2. Click here to get my book sample plus my free 27 day devotional, the 27 Day Bible Study Challenge , which will help you to learn to read the Bible and spend consistent time with Him.
  3. Click here to get my book sample plus my free Proverbs 31 Woman Prayer Challenge devotional, which will teach you how to get a “yes” answer to your prayers and have a deeper prayer life.




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