Are You Making an Idol Out of Your Future Husband?


Me and Eddie last winter. Photography: David Marshall, jr.

I recently let my excitement for my boyfriend replace my excitement for God.

I would nag my boyfriend (Eddie) about hanging out more, clear my schedule to be with him, and fantasize about our married life.

Now, none of those actions are sins. But, the sin arose from my actions when I began to treat my boyfriend with more concern than God.

As I was fussing at Eddie one day about our limited time together, God convicted me and spoke to my heart. “I want that time with you,” the Lord said.

Photo source: beautifulwithbrains.com

Photo source: beautifulwithbrains.com

As I put all the pieces together, I was blown away. I was doing all that nagging and fussing with my man about spending more time together. Yet, the whole time, God was trying to tell me the same thing!

No matter how long you’ve been in Christ, your hunger and fire for Him should never burn out. If your hunger for God is strong, then you’ll naturally desire more time with Him.

Have you replaced God with a man or your desire for marriage?

Here are some signs:

  1. Thoughts– You consistently complain and think about your next season of marriage or having a man to the point that you’re no longer enjoying where you are. You spend more time thinking about a relationship than God. You can hardly hear God’s voice because your mind is so distracted.
  2. Lack of focus– You are constantly looking at wedding dresses or wedding ideas and, you may not realize it, but you’ve lost focus for Him. Staring at the relationships of others on Facebook has become your idol.
  3. Lack of communication– Your quiet time with God is nonexistent. You spend more time talking to your boo than God. Or, you spend more time talking about your future husband/marriage than sharing Christ. When you do spend quiet time with God, you barely talk to Him throughout the day. The Word says that we should “pray without ceasing” – 1 Thessalonians 5:17. Read my blog How to Deepen Your Prayer Life if you need help in this area.
  4. You don’t look forward to your quiet time with God- Yet, you still look forward to a date or your wedding day. Church, Bible study, and church activities have all become “routine.”
  5. You act like you are entitled to a husband because you gave up sex – You make statements like, “I just want to get married to have sex,” “I just want someone to love me,” “I’ve been abstinent for 2 years, why hasn’t God sent my husband?” If God is your first love, then you’re so filled with Him that thoughts like this won’t be able to get to you.

If you let a man, or the idea of a husband, replace God, go back to doing the things you did when you first fell in love with Christ. When you first found God, did you spend all day praying, take your Bible to work, or share the love of Christ more? Get back to that excitement again! Let Him fill you up.

Do more than spend time with God during your routine moments. The “just because” times with God are the best!

“Just because” means you aren’t spending time with Him because you want something or because it’s your routine time with Him. Instead, you’re basking in His presence “just because” you want to be with Him.

Randomly turn off the TV one day just to pray. Go back to worshipping Him in your car or on the way to work. Break away from work for 5 minutes just to worship in the bathroom. Clear your schedule one night just to sit at home and get into a few scriptures.

God wants more time with you. Once you let Him fill you up, your insecurities, anxiousness, and emotional behavior will all fade away. Trust Him. He cares for you.

If you need encouragement to spend more consistent, non-routine time with God, I encourage you to click here to start growing closer to God with my free daily devotionals.


Its time to be prepared for your Godly husband and learn more about how to grow closer to God…

…My book, I Believe in God, Now What? , shares my many battles with depression, relationships, sex, rape, and addiction to help deepen your relationship with God. This book is sure to answer your questions about your single life and help you move further in your walk with Christ.

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