The Top Reasons You Shouldn’t Pick a Spouse Without God

My husband Eddie and I after our wedding this past July 2017

How would you feel if you woke up to your future husband and suddenly realized you had gotten married for the wrong reasons?


The man you thought you loved and cherished was actually just an attraction used to cover the voids and insecurities that you never gave to God.


I’m married to a loving, God-fearing husband. He cares for me, prays for me, and values our relationship.


But, there was a time that I was in serious danger of not meeting my husband because I was outside the will of God for my life.


In fact, I was so outside the will of God that I almost married the wrong guy…TWICE (or more)!


Let me explain…


Before I met Eddie (my husband), I was constantly moving from one date to the next because I was insecure, lonely, and hated being alone.


I loved the feeling of sex outside of marriage (even though it’s a sin) because it helped me feel wanted and desired.


All along, I was diving deeper into ungodly, unhealthy, toxic relationships.


Most of the guys I messed around with could care less about me. But, in a couple of those relationships we talked about marriage.


By the grace of God, it never went that far. And, looking back on my life, I’m so grateful God kept me from marrying the wrong person even in the midst of my sin.


I was blind, foolish, and yet I thought I was “in love.”


There’s one main reason I thought the wrong guys were the right guys: I wasn’t spending time with the Lord.


At that point in my life, I had gotten “saved” when I was 12 or so, gotten baptized, and attending church, but I wasn’t living the life of a Christian.


My body was in a church building, but my heart wasn’t for the Lord. So, I wasn’t spending time with Him or His Word daily.


God’s voice is in His Word. When you read His Word to truly get to know Him better (not to form a debate or just to say you read the Bible), you can learn more about His will for your life, His purpose for your life, and the direction He desires to lead you.


Because I lacked personal time with the Lord, I was unclear about His voice or direction. Since I wasn’t living for Him, I couldn’t recognize His warnings as I continued on in negative, unhealthy relationships.


Another benefit of spending time with the Lord as a single woman is that you become secure in Him. Personal time with God helped me to become confident about who He is in my life; it opened my eyes and helped me to see clearly.

So, when it came time for God to show me that Eddie was my husband, I could look at him with clear eyes, not insecure, emotional, needy eyes that just wanted to be loved.


If you’re a single woman reading this and you struggle with insecurities and negative relationships, I encourage you to dive deeper into prayer and personal scripture reading with the Lord. If you don’t know how, check out my free devotionals that encourage you to spend daily time with God and deepen your prayer life: 27 Day Bible Study Challenge or Proverbs 31 Woman Prayer Challenge .


I once heard Francis Chan say in You and Me Forever , that we don’t have relationship problems, we have God problems.


Fix your relationship with God, and watch the other relationships in your life line up accordingly.


But, as always, don’t seek God just for a man, seek Him with a pure, loving, heart that just wants to be His daughter.


Have you read my free book sample? It shares my testimony of overcoming toxic relationships, promiscuity, depression, a suicidal attempt, addiction, and much more. It’s free for a limited time: click here to read the sample of I Believe in God, Now What?


Email me with your prayer requests, questions or comments at Jordone (at) JordoneWrites (dot) org


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