True Life: My Story of Forgiveness and “People Bondage”

“People bondage” is something we can all relate to because it represents a struggle that everyone will go through in their lifetime.

It can be defined as an unhealthy attachment to an individual or group of people that unknowingly or knowingly causes you to live in fear.

It can be physical or mental. It also includes any negative feeling or action done upon you that keeps you from exercising forgiveness or moving on with your life in a physical or mental way.

Popular instances include:

1) An ex-boyfriend/girlfriend that cheated on you but you won’t emotionally let them go

2) An individual who made a harsh comment about your life or personality and that thought repeats itself in your mind every time you set out to try to make something of yourself

3) A parent who puts you down because you are successful but your aspirations don’t match up with their goals for your life and they are never satisfied.

All of these examples represent scenarios in which we as humans can allow people to control our lives by letting their negative opinions create a constant and never ending circulation of doubt each time we try to make positive moves in our lives.

For me, my “people bondage” deals with my days of loneliness in middle/high school and all my classmates that contributed to that loneliness by treating me in an unkind way.

I dreaded each day of high school. I spent most of my days eating lunch alone and crying after school. I begged my mother and father to let me change schools but they refused to because they were really pleased with the school system. I didn’t quite see it this way.

Each day, I remember being talked down to, picked on, laughed at and excluded. This is probably one of the reasons I am so kind today because I am so sensitive about making sure that no one ever feels how I felt. It’s a horrible feeling being disrespected and called names everyday.

Although I would laugh it off, I didn’t find it funny. I was just too insecure to stick up for myself. One of my most horrid memories is having water balloons thrown at my car as I was driving. Kids can be so mean.

These events left me with insecurities, loneliness and an extreme and dangerous desire to be accepted.

I use the word dangerous because, from experience, I can tell you that living to find fulfillment in yourself through what other people think about you is one of the worst ways to live. It causes you to live in fear and to allow the opinions of others to dictate your actions.

For years, I have had a “people bondage” towards my negative high school experiences that has caused me to define myself by what others think of me. To be completely honest with you, I am still dealing with this but am growing in this area as God permits.

You can never control what it is done to you but, with the help of the Holy Spirit, you can control how you respond.

My experiences in high school were not something I asked for but, nonetheless, I can hold no one else but myself accountable for my decision to hold those things on my heart.

How can we ask God and others around us to forgive us for our actions if we haven’t forgiven others for what they have done to us?

You have to let go of your “people bondage” in life because it will keep no one else but yourself down while the person who has hurt you moves on with their life.

There was no way I could have forgiven what was done to me by my peers on my own because the power to forgive is not within human capacity. We just can’t do it on our own. We have to ask God for help and I give Him the glory for helping me.

As I mentioned, although the forgiveness of my peers has been accomplished through the blood of Jesus, I can be honest with myself by saying that God is still working on me with an unhealthy “people bondage” that remains as an insecurity.

This insecurity keeps me from being assertive about decisions that the Lord is leading me to make.

Many times, I am confident that something is the right decision but am too afraid that others around me won’t understand.

However, in God, there is no spirit of fear but a spirit of peace. I constantly remind myself of this each day when fear tries to creep in on an area where God is trying to advance my life.

For example, about a month ago, due to personal reasons in my life, the Lord led me to finish my term with the Peace Corps early. I knew it was God telling me to do this but I was initially so scared to make the decision because I was afraid about what others would think about me.

I was allowing the same lack of self-confidence gained from high school experiences to effect my state of mind by giving me doubt.

Nevertheless, I made the best decision for myself by leaving. However, my mentality at the time let me know that there are areas of insecurity I have to work on when it comes to what people think.

This coming Friday marks my five year high school reunion. Because of my “people bondage,” I was going to allow my insecurities to keep me from going but changed my mind.

I look forward to showing up with a smile on my face and showing genuine love to those who hurt me.

Most of all, I look forward to hearing what is going on with their lives so I can sincerely know how to pray for them.

The best form of relinquishment and forgiveness through love is sincere and specific prayer. I want to pray for their happiness, goals, and endeavors. I want to put love in a place where evil once existed. However, I can’t do that if I allow my past to hinder me from attending.

I can’t wait for God’s love to shine in that room.

One of the best feelings of love in the world is forgiveness.

When you conquer wrong done to you through the Lord and feel His peace as you sincerely forgive and show love through prayer to the person who did you wrong, it makes the negative experience you went through worthwhile.

I look forward to any instance in which I can grow in strength in the Lord and feel His peace a little stronger, even if it means I have to stumble through a few road blocks to get there.

Please share this blog to inspire those in need. Bullying is a common experience. I would love for this article to inspire a kid in need. As it did with me, many bullying experiences often lead kids to become suicidal. Reading this article could save someone’s life. Please pass on. God bless!

Love,

Jordone

Jordone.Branch@yahoo.com

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My inspirational book will be released in 2014. The book will share personal stories about my life’s struggles in an effort to encourage others to conquer pain, hurt, and unforgiveness through Christ.

Check out my writing about my experience with the Peace Corps Morocco, Africa program. If you would like to work with me as a writer, guest, or speaker feel free to contact me via email.

PS- “People Bondage” is a term that I learned from blogger/author Heather Lindsey. You can check out here opinions on the topic itself here: http://heatherllindsey.blogspot.com/search?q=people+bondage#.UpLB36UjFG5. I hope her writings about her experiences blesses you like it did for me. I promise to blog about the reunion soon…God bless 🙂

..……UPDATE… ….

Here’s the photo from my 5 year reunion! It was a blast! A lot of fun and it truly allowed me to see how far God has allowed me to grow in Him!

More writing on the experience to come soon!! God bless 🙂