4 Ways to Keep it in Your Pants: How to Avoid Sex Before Marriage



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I spent so much of my past failing at Godly relationships.

I’ve made the mistakes, so you don’t have to.

If you follow these tips, in addition to seeking God’s Word for yourself, I truly believe you can have a successful relationship God’s way.

Before you read this blog, I encourage you to click here to read part 1: “How to Court God’s Way”.


So, here are my tips. I’ve intentionally included plenty of scriptures beside each tip so that you can go to God for yourself and make Him your foundation throughout your courtship process:



1) Forget your old mindset– You must totally erase your old ways of handling relationships in order to have a successful courtship. If you aren’t careful, or mentally prepared, you will take your standards from your old ungodly relationships into your new God-filled ones. 2 Corinthians 5:17 Philippians 3:13


2) Kissing and Using Wisdom– If you know it makes you hot and horny, don’t do it! This is where it becomes important for you to seek God and His Word about courtship instead of just reading blogs because every couple is different.

Be led of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 13:14 says give the flesh no provision, meaning don’t supply its cravings.


My boyfriend Eddie and I

For my boyfriend and I, holding hands doesn’t make us “hot.” But, I know other Godly couples who avoid holding hands because it stirs their flesh.

Don’t allow your flesh to do something that will leave it wanting more. Seek God about what He desires your courtship to look like. He made you so He knows your hormones and what you can handle more than anyone else.

But, plain and simple, some things like touching/feeling and rubbing must be avoided all together because that makes everyone horny, regardless of who you are. Like I said, “give the flesh no provision” Romans 13:14.


3) Language and modesty – Don’t expect your boyfriend to respect your standards if you keep talking to him about all the things you want to do to him when ya’ll get married.

Likewise, how do you expect him to wait for you while you prance around him half-naked showing cleavage?! Put some clothes on and watch your tongue. 1 Timothy 2:9, 1 Peter 3:3-4.

If you don’t have money for modest clothes, pray about that. God once used a church member to bless me with hundreds of dollars of clothes when I needed more modest/professional clothing. So, money doesn’t stop God.


4) Other NO’s (just in case you were wondering): phone sex, pornography watching, late night visits, “sexting” (aka: “sex text messaging”/sexual picture sharing). Oral sex, touching body parts, and touching/feeling before marriage is just as bad sex before marriage in God’s eyes (Matthew 5:28).

You can’t cheat your way to the altar. If he hasn’t paid the price for your body by giving you a ring, he deserves NO rights to your body. Period. 1 Corinthians 16:19-20.


Other important aspects to pray about are a curfew and your music. If you know that your mind is in a different place past a certain time, then I advise you to avoid phone conversations/visits past that hour.

Likewise, stay away from artists that brag about fornication. I keep my music holy. If you like Christian rap, Lecrae and Andy Mineo are great. I also love Kari Jobe, William Murphy, William McDowell, and Stanley Johnson.


People don’t just accidentally or suddenly find themselves having pre-marital sex. Sex is a result of multiple decisions that could have been avoided.

So, if you take my advice, plus seek God for yourself, then there’s no reason you can’t have a successful, Godly relationship.

Click here to read part 1 of this blog: “How to Court God’s Way,” where I talk about seeking God for yourself.


Remember sis, self-control starts long before you feel aroused or your mind starts wandering to sex.


If you make wise decisions from the get go, you can avoid finding yourself in a predicament where it’s too hard to say no.


Be wise.

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Hi, I'm Jordone.
For so long, I struggled with having a truly enjoyable and intimate relationship with Jesus. My goal is to help you learn God and His voice for yourself so you'll avoid the mistakes I made. Get my free devotional "Daily Time with Jesus" and take the 27 day challenge to spend consistent time with God and learn His voice.

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Other blogs on this topic:

1) Stop Pushing God on Your Boyfriend

2) 6 Reasons to Let Him Go After the First Date

3) Why Won’t God Send You a Husband?

4) How to Wait on God For Your Husband

5) Did God Really Tell You He Was “The One”?


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