Pic Source: www.lostgraduatemagazine.com
Before my relationship with God, I can recall a point in my life where I felt like there was no hope in men!
I mean …I had experienced them all-the cheaters, the liars, the “down lowers,” and the quick tempered!
If you name it, I had been through it!
I thought I had gone through about as much as I could take until even worse happened-I was raped.
After that, I was done! I was threw with men! I hated them! I remember telling myself I rather just be gay than to keep going through life trying to find a good man.
Thank God, I didn’t go through with that thought. Instead, I went to my bedroom, closed the door, fell on the ground, and poured out to God in tears.
I told him I was tired, that I was sick of trying to live life my way, and that I was ready to give Him my all.
Experiencing rape was the last straw for me. I didn’t decide to give up on men. But, I did decide that I needed to do some serious self-examination within myself.
Jordone, what do you mean self-examination? Are you blaming yourself for getting raped?
No, I’m not blaming myself at all. But, I do know that God was tugging on my heart long before the rape ever happened. It was my choice to ignore the call. Therefore, I had to accept the path God was trying to help me avoid.
Even though getting raped wasn’t my fault, it did help me see that there were some choices in my life I needed to change.
You see, we will always attract whatever we give off. The clothes we wear, the attitudes we have, and the opportunities we go after will all attract a certain man.
For me, my public life was spotless. But, my relationship with God was a wreck. I was going to church, but had no personal life with my Savior. I wasn’t obeying His commands. So, that’s the kind of men I would attract-the kind that could quote scriptures and said they loved God, but really didn’t.
There comes a point where we must examine ourselves. Our relationships with people will always directly reflect our relationships with God. Dating someone is a choice that we make. So, if we constantly find ourselves with the wrong people, we have to look back to the source-our relationships with God.
If we can honestly examine where we are with God, it’s easier to identify what the real problem is.
But, Jordone, my relationship with God is already good!
Yes, but are you trying to force a man into a season he doesn’t belong in? Don’t awaken love before it arises (Song of Solomon 8:4). You’ll constantly come up short and blame the men. Instead, examine yourself. Are you being patient? Wait on God. (Additional blogs and scriptures on this topic are below)
My book, I Believe in God, Now What?, reveals my past battles with alcohol abuse, drug addiction, and rape in an effort to help others find forgiveness, love, and healing in Christ. Read more about the book here.
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Other Blogs on this topic: 1) “How in the World Can I Be Abstinent in a World Full of Sex?”, 2) “Where is my Adam?,” 3) “Struggling with Discontent: When Is my Time?!”
Additional Scriptures on this topic: Psalm 37:5: “Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him and He shall bring it to pass.”
Also see: Psalm 37: 7, Psalm 37:4 , Isaiah 41:29, Isaiah 41:31, Isaiah 54:5
Me and my Eddie. We’ve been in an abstinent Godly relationship for about a year now and we’re looking forward to marriage! I never would have got him if I didn’t learn to first examine myself and my relationship with God. Ladies, seek God first. Put your all in Him and His Word and all else will follow (paraphrased-Matthew 6:33)!