How in the World can I be Abstinent in a World full of Sex?

Source: sexualityinart.wordpress.com

Let’s be real. Just because I’ve made the decision to wait until marriage, that doesn’t mean I don’t want sex.


Heck, we all do. Part of our purpose on this Earth is to be fruitful and multiply. So, there will be times where we just naturally have the desire to have sex, even when that desire is inconvenient with our present circumstances.


It’s not uncommon for people to think I’m crazy for waiting until marriage. It’s also not uncommon for people to give me strange looks for being so bold about my testimony. However, I’ve moved past that.


I’ve learned that if I’m going to commit to this walk with God, then I’m going to have to do it all the way, regardless of what people think. Part of that walk includes being so frank about what I’ve been through and experience so that people can be encouraged to stay on the right track too.


So, with that being said, I will boldly tell you that yes, I get horny and tempted. No, you aren’t alone. Temptation is normal. In Matthew 4 we see that even Jesus Himself was tempted. He experienced every temptation common to man (Hebrews 4:15), which means that, yes, even Christ Himself got horny too!


Living for God doesn’t mean you can’t expect temptation, it means that you’ve learned that your faith in Him is stronger than the temptation itself.


While abstinence hasn’t come easy, my boyfriend and I find that daily prayer has been the best strategy. The more we pray, the stronger we become as a union. We have learned that if we are going to be together, it’s not enough for us to have our own individual times with God, we have to be growing in God together as well.


If you have already had sex with your boyfriend/girlfriend but you’re looking to get on the right track, it’s not too late. The important factor is that both of you all have to be on the same page. If one person is ready to walk God’s path but the other isn’t, the relationship will have trouble staying on a stable track.


There’s also a great marriage devotional app that helps my boyfriend and I as well. It gives us daily scriptures to read together which keeps our minds on God, not our flesh.


Above all else, remember that once we are saved we live in Christ and He lives in us. So, we already have the power within us to overcome temptation, it’s just up to us to make the right moves.


What are your thoughts on abstinence and celibacy? Have you and your boyfriend/girlfriend made the big step of waiting until marriage? What has the experience been like for you all? I’d love to hear your stories. Let’s encourage each other together. Tweet [twitter-follow screen_name=’JordoneWrites’], email me, or comment below to tell me your thoughts.

Share this post so that those who want to get on the path of abstinence, but just don’t know how, can be helped.

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24 Responses

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  6. Brenda

    My boyfriend and I are abstaining from sex 100% this time. Throughout our relationship we have made it a goal but faltered many times. Recently we each have decided to get closer to God and also if marriage is for us. In order to do so we have to be as obedient to God so we can receive his blessings and so our hearts can be open to what He wants us to do, not what we want for ourselves. To prevent temptation we had to change a lot of what we were doing around each other. Before we would change clothes around each other. Now it’s important to not entice each other. We don’t have cuddle time anymore. And if we are laying next to each other, we put a blanket or pillows between us! It’s different now but it’s going to be magical when we can share that level of closeness and intimacy as husband and wife.

  7. Ashley Bradford

    Hey. I felt moved to comment on this post. I decided to be abstinent when I was in my senior year of high school. The choice to do so was hard and still is to this day (I’ve now graduated college and have started my career). I’m not going to say I haven’t faltered either. I have had many weak points, including a few drunken nights in college when I almost gave in and said forget this. I also have them now. However, I haven’t given up on it and I plan to wait until marriage because deep down I know its the right thing to do. My friends question me all the time about why I’ve decided upon this path and how they don’t know how I do it- because they never could. At times I find myself downplaying the significance of waiting until marriage by saying things like “I’m just waiting until i’m in a steady relationship” or statements to that affect. But in reality, I know even when I find that someone, I will still choose to wait.. And It’s taken me this long to be able to admit that out loud. But I’m going to start claiming my faith and stop being a “secret believer” as my pastor calls it. I know I have a long way to go but I’m ready for the challenge. Thanks for the inspirational post!

    1. Beverly. Colvin

      Hi, as u r sister in Christ I’m so glad to hear that u will be waiting on The Lord for a mate, and make sure through Christ, that he loves The Lord..first , because if he loves The Lord he will love u. You see I didn’t wait…and I truly regret it. I missed out on gods blessings. I was not routed and grounded in the word of god, and I allowed my flesh to over come,but as time went on I did change my life through ..and I’m happy to say…that it took Christ to build me up n his most high faith and now I stand firmly on his word. I’m a overcomes …through Christ who gives me the courage and power through his supernatural strengthen to do his will. I learned to trust n him and not man and my flesh. I’m so proud and happy that u r making a stand for Christ, this is the best decision u have ever made…and u will never forget it. Although I have had many regrets, and know god has forgiving me…yes I was hard headed, and thought I had all the answers!, but I didn’t. It so easy to get caught up if u r not n the word of god daily. Please believe me as a living witness truly god is the answer to every problem. And situation… I pray god continue to bless and keep u near his heart and protect u from all harm…because Jesus is that light that shines n our lives,because without him we would be forever lost. I m so thankful for his amazing grace and love that he has for us. Be blessed my sister and know that u r loved, and admired for your amazing faith n god…luv u r sister n Christ who is so proud of u for making the best decision ever…I pray u reach others as well, and god will truly continue to bless u forever now and throughout eternity…..much love

    2. If

      I av decided to wait for sex bcos i strongly dnt biliv in sex bfor marriage but my boyfriend thinks otherwise,what do i do pls?

      1. I believe you should delete that relationship from your life. If someone doesn’t respect you relationship with God, then they won’t respect you or your desires to wait. He will tempt you to try to get you to have sex and before you know it, you’ve done something you had no intention of doing. Please pray about it and move on as the Lord leads you. Don’t rush back into another relationship. Pray about your desires for a Godly man and let the Lord lead that person into your life. Relationships are so much sweeter when we wait on God’s perfect timing and don’t rush the situation. God bless. Love you in Christ

  8. Lauren

    Hi, I was thinking about whether or not I should become abstinent and after reading this I’m definitely going to do so. After realizing that putting God first in everything I do, I should do that in every aspect of my life. If I want to find a good man then I feel I should this. Everything else will fall into place.

    1. Amen!!!! WOW!!! So blown away by this comment! God is so amazing ! I’m so happy for you that you’ve made this decision and I’ll be praying for you. I’m here if you need encouragement and my blog posts go up every Friday if you need additional encouragement! I love you 🙂 Stay strong! You are worth it!!

      1. Beverly. Colvin

        Yes we can do all things through Christ who strengthen us.yes god can keep u if u want to be kept. I’m a living witness. I prayed long and ask The Lord to deliver me from the lustful desires of the flesh. I know n my own self I could not do it,but. Gods word daily reading and prayer and exercise what ever it takes I did it. U have to capture every thought and line it up with the word of god…keep u r mind and thoughts on the savior and trust him n every way..u must feed the flesh with the word, because if u don’t the flesh will control u..give no place for the enemy to use easy and subtle tactics to lure u n something u will regret. Please avoid the very appearance of evil…please put on the whole armor of god so that u can with hold the wilds of the enemy, just get so wrapped up n to Jesus, that u loose u r self n him, and sing praises for his goodness..he is so worthy to be praised. Seek ye first the kingdom of god and all these things will be added unto u..god wants us to be obedient to his standard because he wants us to live an abundant life through him. A man that finds a wife, findeth a good thing, And have favor with god…Please ladies stop chasing these men and really wait on The Lord, he will bless u and u r marriage, if we just trust n him…this is the will of god…love u r selfs first. U can live without man, but u can’t live without Christ. Please don’t say I can’t live without my significant other and try to commit suicide, that’s the enemy telling u this lie. Jesus is the one u should say I can’t live my life without u…this is why Christ died for u and for me. The thing to remember is Jesus loves us unconditional, and he will never leave u nor forsake u. Yes Jesus is the answer to every problem..and his word will last forever. Jesus is the same yesterday and forever. I thank god for his grace and mercy and giving me a second chance at living my life the way it was intended to be, amen…u really don’t know him , until u have excepted him as u r personal savior and let him lead u n the path of righteous, for his name sake. He is the precious blood of the lamb. Thanks be to The Lord for his wonderful and amazing love for us, that never fails..amen if I can be of any help please let me know… I want to help others too, because it’s the right thing that lord want us to do… His word is life to those who follow kit…u will truly never regret excepting him as u r lord and savior.
        We must transform our lives to his will, in order to overcome this world,we must relinquish our lives to him wholly…so he can give u supernatural power through him to be over comers…amen

    1. Hey there! No worries! Your questions aren’t too much at all. Masturbation would be off limits too because when you’re masturbating, you’re lusting. Also, in the long run masturbation can cause serious damage to the sexual organs. For example, it can keep you from having a normal sexual orgasm during sex because the your organs are so used to only having orgasms off of quick masturbation. You can google it to read more about the dangers of it. Trust me, I know it’s tempting because I once battled with this as well . If you want, I can write a post on this for you too.

        1. Ok I understand. Waiting for sex until marriage is one of the best decisions I have made. Since I’m excluding sex and masturbation from my life, me and my boyfriend can focus on getting to know each other, not our bodies. Take it from me who has made mistakes, no sex and no masturbation is the way to go. I encourage you to pray about it and ask God for His help with the situation. I’m here if you need encouragement.

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