So, I have two quick announcements for you:
- This past Saturday (March 11), I officially hit the 27 mark! Woo hoo!
- I am engaged!!!
Now, this time last year, it seemed like marriage and a relationship was the only thing on my mind.
At the time, I had just broken up with my boyfriend (who’s now my fiancée) and things were extremely rocky for me emotionally.
Even mentioning my ex’s name seemed to cause me to ball into tears.
To make matters worse, all around me, it seemed like everyone was either engaged, booed up, or already married. I would go out with other couples and feel like the “third wheel.” I felt so alone, lonely, and there was this deep sadness within me that God was revealing so He could heal.
Fast forward to this birthday and I’m almost the BIG 3-0!!
Yes, you know what they say about that age:
- Your clock is ticking
- You need to hurry up and freeze them eggs!
- Girl, when you going to hurry up and tie the knot. You ain’t gonna have no good men to choose from after awhile!
Yet, this year, I’m closer to 30, enjoying life more than last year, and my mind couldn’t be further away from the stereotypes.
Yes, I’m engaged, but, I’m in no rush to get married! I’m at peace and I’m totally content with God’s timing.
That last year of being 26, going through a single life with Jesus, and feeling like the odd ball really strengthened me!
I learned about:
- not being led by my emotions
- trusting God past how I feel
- Enjoying myself…by myself!
Truthfully, I needed that break up to prepare me for the journey of marriage that’s ahead of me.
It was my year of difficulty that prepared me for my year of engagement.
Yes, I know that marriage is in store for me. But, its not my total focus.
If you’ve found yourself in a part of your single life where marriage seems to be your only focus, you are constantly discontent with being by yourself, or you silently roll your eyes at your sister’s season of happiness, then I encourage you to do this one activity that helped me to keep my mind off myself during my break up and singleness: serve.
Yes, it’s just that simple.
I’m not in a rush to get married because I’m too busy serving God.
If your focus is out of whack, you’ve lost your desire for God, and you spend more time looking at wedding dresses than meditating on scriptures, then I encourage you to pick up a mindset of servitude.
A wise man once told me that serving others (unto God of course) keeps our mind off of ourselves.
That simple piece of advice may very well be the best piece of wisdom I’ve ever heard. And, it’s true.
When I was single, only thinking about being single, and throwing a silent pity party, it was easy to sulk and difficult for God to move me forward.
Yet, as soon as I got my mind off myself, began to put others needs before my own, and got off my butt to serve, my whole outlook on life changed. Then, God could elevate me.
You think He’d let me get engaged if I was still whining about being single and going through a break up?
God loves me too much to let me enter a marriage with that immature mindset. And, He loves you too much to let you get married if your mind will only lead your marriage to disaster, too.
So, how did I serve and get my mind off myself?
Well, I would babysit other people’s kids for free, volunteer my time to help others, and put in extra time at work unto God.
No, I wasn’t working just to stay busy and keep things off my mind. I was working to serve as unto God.
I literally remember God telling me to get to work 30 minutes early to get extra work done. That 30 minutes of work everyday added up and before I knew it I had written another devotional: The Proverbs 31 Woman Prayer Challenge.
Now, I’m planning my first Christian girls’/women’s conference, recently preached in South Africa last year, going to start another book soon, and just finished recording an episode of the 700 club which will air late March/early April 2017!
Because I was faithful with the “little” ways of service unto God, He elevated me to more.
Now, marriage is in the picture, but, it’s not my entire focus. God and my assignments unto Him are my focus.
I’m not in a position where I’m forgetting about my first Love, Jesus, because He taught me how to humble my feelings, my desires, and keep my mind focused on Him.
Being focused on servitude and allowing God to elevate me also means I can bring something to the table in my marriage. I’ve learned to be a servant unto God, so now I can serve my future husband as unto, God, too.
If you are in a season where you can’t get a certain ex, a relationship, or marriage off your mind, I encourage you to get out of your pity party by getting back to serving unto God.
No, don’t get busy to “keep your mind off of singleness”.
As a matter of a fact, don’t be busy at all.
Be productive before the Lord by serving Him. Ask Him now what you can do to serve. Then, once you humble yourself, find yourself in His Word, and trust Him, you’ll find yourself in a completely different mindset where God can use you and elevate you for His glory.
Just a couple of things I want to share with you….
- I’m hosting a 1-day Christian Career Networking conference for middle, high school, and college girls on June 17!
The conference is based off my own testimony of working for notable companies like CNN, travelling the world, yet still being empty, not living for God’s Word and struggling with addiction and promiscuity.
My heart is to show women and girls that living for God is the truest form of success and being successful in His eyes while having the career He wants for you is possible! Seating is limited. Register by April 30th to get a free business blazer with your registration! Check out DestinyConference.net for more info!
- I encourage you to check out my book, I Believe in God, Now What?, which shares my story of overcoming addiction, promiscuity, rape, and a suicidal attempt to help you draw closer to God and move closer to becoming the woman He’s called you to be. Click here to buy the book or click here to get the free book sample.
- Click here to get my book sample plus my free 27 day devotional, the 27 Day Bible Study Challenge, which will help you to learn to read the Bible and spend consistent time with Him.
- Click here to get my book sample plus my free Proverbs 31 Woman Prayer Challenge devotional, which will teach you how to get a “yes” answer to your prayers and have a deeper prayer life.