The Truth About Someone Who Breaks Up With You Because of Your Past

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So, you’ve been with your significant other for quite sometime now. You all have fun, finish each other’s sentences, and have phone conversations until 2 am.

Everything is going great. So, you decide you’re comfortable enough to reveal those details about your life that very few people know.

Initially, you’re glad that you decided to be honest with this person, but soon you realize they are beginning to act distant. Before you know it, they’ve broken up with you.

“I never should have told them that,” you tell yourself.

You go on crying for a few days as they ignore your calls and texts. Their actions lead you to believe you’ve done something wrong.

I’m here to tell you that you did not do anything wrong.

Everyone has some wrong they have done. At some point in time in our lives, we have all fallen short of the glory of God.

If you look at my other blogs you can read about my battles with alcohol, fornication, and lust. Turning a new leaf, the Lord has used me to write about these experiences to be an inspiration to others who struggle with similar issues. Needless to say, my past is out on the Internet for the whole world to see.

Not only does my boyfriend support my blog, but he often helps me with the editing too! He’s not ashamed, he doesn’t beat me up, and not once has he ever thrown any of my past back in my face during a disagreement. He loves me for me, regardless of what I used to do. He values me based upon my worth in Christ and this scripture:


So, no you weren’t wrong to bring up your past with the one you thought you were going to be with. That’s what love does, it’s honest and upfront. Anyone who couldn’t accept that obviously wasn’t ready to love you back. They didn’t realize your worth or the worth of that relationship. They put their pride above everything else, and that’s not your fault.

A few quick tips to remember:

1)Don’t let that situation hinder you from being open again in the future. No one has the right to judge you except for God.

2)Thank them because they kept you from wasting anymore of your time than needed.

3)They have proven they aren’t marriage material. Marriage material realizes that mistakes of the past aren’t worth the relationship itself.

4) Most importantly, FORGIVE them. If you don’t forgive, you will only hurt yourself because you will take old baggage into a new relationship. As Christians, our forgiveness must happen immediately because that’s the same grace that God gives us. The hurt may take time to do away with, but the forgiveness must happen immediately. Give that hurt to God by seeking His Word wholeheartedly. That void can only be healed through Him, not other men or things.

Move on and be happy that they showed you their true colors before you wasted anymore time with them. True love and marriage requires work. That work requires both parties to be in the relationship for the long haul. If that person couldn’t even stay with you because of your past, do you really think they have what it takes to build a future with them?

My book I Believe in God, Now What? reveals my past battles with alcohol abuse, weed addiction, and rape in an effort to help others find forgiveness, love, and healing in Christ. Read more about the book here.

When you subscribe to my blog, you’ll get the first two chapters of my book absolutely free! Subscribing is free-just go to the top right hand side of the page.

Did you find this blog inspirational? Then please share so it can inspire others! You never know someone’s story-your help could save someone’s life. Thanks for your support!





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Check out my writing about my experience with the Peace Corps Morocco, Africa program.




My boyfriend and I

PS-I’m sorry that my blog did not go up this past Friday. I was at a Pinky Promise (abstinence and Godly conference) event that I will be blogging about soon! Love you guys and thank you for your patience.

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2 Responses

  1. Pingback : Watching Your Ex Via Facebook? Here’s the Secret… | JordoneWrites – "Writing About My Past to Inspire Your Future"

  2. LaShonda Otey

    Let me take a moment and THANK GOD for your words of encouragement!!!! Today’s post was a much needed post for me to read. I would like to share something with you!

    My best friend and I recently have tried to do the relationship ordeal. I love him dearly and respect him greatly. Unfortunately the love and respect has not equal. I thank God for Him giving us women a thing called a female intitution and inplanting a small voice inside of us because not only did I find out that he has been involved with his ex girlfriend a few weeks ago but last night the same inititution and voice lead me to once again find out that he was still involved with her after I found out the first time. I had forgiven him! Everyone makes mistakes! But to do it again!? That was a slap in the face. Why am I telling you this?

    As women sometimes we often second guess ourselves. Do I do this right? What if I had done this this way? How can I make it all better? We, especially me, try to rationalize the situation and the events surrounding the issue but what I have learned beyond this situation is, God doesn’t want us to ‘beat’ ourselves up about it and we are to consider ALL things (the good, the bad and the ugly) as joy and for our greater good.

    I will not tell you that it doesn’t hurt because after all that we were best friends but that reason alone should have been enough for respect across the broad regardless if we were official or not. We were dealing with each other and out of respect he could of let me know.

    However he said something to me when this first this came to light. He said, ‘If I had been honest with you about it then I would have lost you and thats not what I wanted.’ Selfish!! Selfishness I told him. It was on his part and most recently it was selfish on my part. I wanted to be with him, I love him, I care about him and dang on it, we have known each other for over 14 years. I didn’t want to be by myself! So I allowed my own wants cloud my better judgement and my God given common sense. This is what I know in regards to this matter and I thank God that He has shown me this now……

    It is with a smile on my face and a song in my heart that this situation is with GREAT JOY!!! When I look at the woman I know I am and the love/things that I can offer and bring to the table. Why in the world would I want to settle for anything less than God has destined for me to receive? Not only would cheat myself but I would also cheat my children out of greatness. My completion does not come from a man on earth but The Man above! My wholeness is not defined by whom I am with but by the One who created me! God made Abraham promises and fulfilled them. Our Father did the same for Sarah, Issac, Job, Ruth, John, Paul and so many others. Why would He do the same for you and I and countless others. The key is to have Faith! Give Him praise! Seek His kingdom! Give my (our) heart and life to Him! Surrender all my (our) desires, my (our) own will, my (our) thoughts and my (our) shortcomings to Him!

    Nevertheless, I thank you because you have only confirmed what God has already said and planted in me. Does it hurt? Yes! Am I tired of being single? Yes! Would I like for my kids to have a father figure? Absolutely! However am I worth more than what is being offered? Yes! Should I settle? No! Did God promise that He would give me the desires of my heart? Yes! The key is to press on! Never to give up! Live life! Enjoy it! Date yourself! Love yourself! Be good to yourself first before you can expect anyone else too! Above else trust and have faith because He is God!!

    May He continue to bless you richly!

    LaShonda [?]

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