Is He Cheating on You? Here’s How to Tell and What to Do…

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Is He Cheating on You?


Yes, I’ve been there. Prior to my relationship with God, I have cheated and been cheated on.


The first time I can remember being cheated on was during my study abroad time in Spain. I was in my junior year of college and living half way across the world. Instead of having the time of my life, I was rushing home at night to Skype my boyfriend.


Somewhere along the line, I noticed he had stopped answering my calls and it became more difficult to keep in touch with him (RED FLAG!). I soon found out why. He had been creeping around!


I was shocked. Here I was in a different country NOT taking full advantage of the experience to be on Skype…and this dude was playing me like boo boo the fool!


When I confronted him, he played the sad act. He cried, tried to Skype me a million times a day, and sent me thousands of messages like it was nobody’s business.


Eventually, like a dummy, I took him back. We stayed together for another year until I broke up with him again for…yes, you guessed it, cheating…again!


Did they have sex? I don’t know. Do I care? Not at all. I’ve moved on…so the most I can do about that situation is to pray for both of them and keep it moving. I just praise God that I had enough wisdom NOT to take him back again after that.


Here’s why I decided to bring that story up:


If there’s one thing you need to know about a cheater it’s that they are insecure. They may go to church, but their ability to attend church or quote scriptures doesn’t mean they are living for God. They have wounds on their hearts that they haven’t given to Christ.


Instead of finding validation in God, cheaters seek to find reassurance about their worth in relationships and sex. Like many people, it makes them feel good to feel wanted and desired. But, since they aren’t whole within themselves, they are seeking that desire in an ungodly fashion.


If you are with a cheater, my advice is to let it go! Yes, I know that the Bible urges us to forgive. But, God also doesn’t want us to be taken advantage of. Forgiving doesn’t mean you have to compromise your worth. You can forgive and still move on out of love and respect for yourself.


I was STUPID to stay with that man! He showed me his true colors once, and I put my blinders on as if the truth wasn’t right in front of me. When God shows you who someone is, believe Him. Don’t judge that person, but understand that you don’t have to stay with someone just because they say they love you. Love is an action, not a feeling. It’s a verb. We prove our love through what we do, not what we say! So, if someone is cheating on you, they are showing through their actions that they don’t love you!

If you don’t like the way it feels to be cheated on, then don’t cheat on God. Yes, God will forgive us for our sins. But, the Bible is clear when it says that He will only forgive us when we turn away in repentance (2 Chronicles 7:14). If we are steady running back to our sins, then we aren’t repenting, we are only taking advantage of God’s grace.

We have to start seeing our relationship with God as the marriage that it truly is. Picture your spouse cheating you, then asking for forgiveness. You take him back, but he does it again, and again, and again. That’s what it’s like to God when we run back to the same mess He brought us out of! It hurts Him. But, most of all, we hurt ourselves.


Looking back on that relationship, the funny thing is that I was surprised that my ex cheated! A man will only treat you as good as he treats God. God proved to me that man didn’t know God when he gave his body to me even though we weren’t married. So, there was no reason for surprise. He simply did to me what he was already doing to God.


You deserve God’s best for your life. You don’t have to settle for less than what He has for you. But, how can you receive His fullness if your hand is only half open?


Remove the clutter out of your life so you can truly receive all that God has for you. Do your part and watch Him do the rest.


My book I Believe in God, Now What? reveals my past battles with alcohol abuse, weed addiction, and rape in an effort to help others find forgiveness, love, and healing in Christ. Read more about the book here.

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