Have you ever felt like you had to wonder about whether a guy really loved you?
You may be with a guy for sometime but, although his words express love, his actions don’t.
If this is you, I can relate to your experience. Before my relationship with God, I spent a lot of time thinking love was a feeling. I looked for love in the words and feelings of my boyfriends, instead of their actions.
Today, I understand that love is an action, not a feeling. Nowhere in the Bible does it say that love is something you feel. Love is a verb. Love is what you do, not what you say or how you feel (1 Corinthians 13:4).
I began to understand the true meaning of love as I became acquainted with the Author of Love: God. God is the source and the redeemer of love. So, you can’t have a relationship without God and call it love (1 John 4:8) because He is the core of all love. He is love.
So, when should you tell a guy you love him?
And how do you know if he loves you too?
Look, love is not some fairytale word or romantic feeling. Love is not what you look for in a relationship. Love is what is required for any relationship to operate. So, you shouldn’t even want to be with someone unless you know you love them. When your spouse gets on your nerves, love (patience, kindness, long-suffering) is what you put into effect, not feelings.
So, the question isn’t, how will you know when he loves you? The question is, why would you be with someone unless you knew that he loved you before you entered the relationship?
Before you all entered the relationship, did he show characteristics of love like patience, kindness, and selflessness for you?
You will know if a guy truly loves you through his actions, not his words.
How does he treat you when he’s mad? Does he respect your Godly decision to wait for sex until marriage? How does he act when he doesn’t get his way in life?
It’s easy to confuse fancy charisma with love. Any man can say he loves you, have a great job, put on a nice suit, drive an expensive car, open up the door for you, use great manners, and impress your friends.
Don’t be fooled by outer appearances and resumes. People look at the outer but only God knows the heart. Let God help you see that man’s heart through his actions, not his words.
Above all else, I encourage you to do a personal Bible study on love. 1 Corinthians 13:4 and 1 John 4:8 are great places to start.
Remember that the greatest love of all has already been given to you through the works of Jesus Christ. Once you get to know Him better, God can trust you to know how to love someone else.
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