When I was in the world I would have quite a bit of drunk sex. Lots of it and relentlessly.
I was already very sexual in the world and spent most of my teen years using sex as a way to mask my insecurities. So, when I got to college and let peer pressure talk me into alcohol use, the sex only got heavier.
When I was intoxicated, I wasn’t thinking about my insecurities or fears. The alcohol gave me a false sense of security in who I thought I was or, rather, what I was trying to be. Of course, that confidence always faded away once the morning came. That’s the thing about using drinking or alcohol as a stress reliever. You can drink all you want, but when the buzz is gone the problems are still there.
Anyway, as my confidence level would rise from the alcohol, so would my desire to have sex. Usually, this landed me in a lot of trouble because I would find myself in bed with some guy who really didn’t care about me. Since what I really wanted was love, I would always try to make something more of these sexual encounters but, of course, it would never work.
All along, I had no idea that what I was truly yearning for was love in God. I was using alcohol and partying to cover a low self-esteem that only He could cure. Even worse, I was hoping that the men I would have sex with would love me in a way that only He could provide.
I learned quickly that sex isn’t something to toy with. I had to learn the hard way but I’m thankful that I learned when I did.
Although I don’t listen to Beyonce’s music anymore, I’m aware that she recently came out with a song about drunk sex. When I think about all the mistakes and heartache that came with that life I used to live, it hurts me that an artist would pollute the minds of our youth and people simply to stay on the charts.
No matter what song you hear or how many movies you watch, drunk sex is nothing to embrace or joke about.
Think about the level of comfort you must have in order to freely take off your clothes with someone. Why would you want to expose yourself on that level while blinded by drunkedness?
Your body is valued and precious. It shouldn’t just be given to a fling who had a few bottles to drink or anyone who isn’t your spouse. You are worth more than that. We all are. I’m speaking from experience.
Wait until a person has proven they know your worth by marrying you. Then, give them the permission and honor of seeing your body.
Now that I’ve made the decision to wait for sex until marriage, I understand why God tells us to wait. It’s not to hinder us, it’s to protect us.
Some may say, “well, why would God give me these desires if I can’t act out on them.” The ability to fight temptation with the person you are courting makes you stronger. You learn to put aside your desires for the sake of what’s best for the relationship, instead of what the individual wants.
I wish I never put myself in such dangerous situations as to be intoxicated and let my desires get the best of me. However, I’m glad that I went through it for one reason. Now that God has blessed me to understand better, I can have hope that my testimony will inspire someone out there to make a change. Don’t let the world tell you how or when sex is okay to have. The world won’t be there when the consequences get heavy and your heart is broken. Focus on what God is saying. He created sex, so He knows what’s best for it.
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