So, if you’ve been reading my blog then it’s no secret to you that I used relationships and sex as an outlet to mask my insecurities. I was a wreck before God.
Like so many others, I had no idea that every attraction isn’t meant to be a relationship. In my eagerness to be loved, I was “looking” for love in all the wrong places. Each time, I would always find myself coming up short. All along, I had no idea that the love I was really searching for could only be found in God, not men.
Confusing attraction for love can be a dangerous thing. Attraction is a feeling. Love, on the other hand, is an action, a verb. You don’t feel love, you show love. That’s why the scripture says that love is patient, love is kind (1 Corinthians 13). Yet, nowhere in the Bible does it ever talk about love being a feeling, only the movies and music of today do that.
The world wants you to think that love can be “found” so that you won’t know that love is something to be shown and acted out upon. If Satan can confuse you about what love is, then he can confuse you about what love is not. So, that’s why today we have people in abusive relationships saying, “I don’t want to leave him because he loves me,” not knowing that a person who beats you is clearly showing through their actions that they don’t love you.
I wish I had known all of this before God. Instead, I found myself in a lot of meaningless relationships simply because an attraction existed. If the attraction didn’t turn into a relationship, then it just remained a meaningless fling, or someone I could have an orgasm with. Sometimes, these guys would tell me they loved me and, of course, I liked hearing those words. But, now I know it wasn’t love, it was just an attraction. How could they have loved me if they didn’t even know the Author of love (1 John 4:8)? So, all of them were just a waste of time. A waste of time that I don’t want you to experience. So, here’s how you can tell if a potential relationship really isn’t worth your time:
1) You all consistently push each other away from God, instead of closer to God
2) He/She doesn’t support your decision to wait until marriage and constantly tries to tempt you to do something they know you don’t want to do
3) You are always the only one pursuing the idea of a relationship
4) You are always the only one making the effort to communicate/get to know each other better
5) He/She says they “love God,” but their words are only words and their actions don’t prove so
6) They say “If you love me, then you’d have sex” or “Come on, what’s the big deal about doing it if we both already love each other?” Yet, they have never even brought up the topic of marriage. Why give them your body when they haven’t even proven your worth?
7) The conversations are always surface level and there’s no true effort to truly know you. Every talk is usually one-sided, with only you doing most of the sharing.
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