Honey, Your Vagina is NOT Your Worth

You love sex. Everything about an orgasm pleases you, especially that moment afterwards when his eyes roll back and you think you’ve won him over.

You think your vagina gives you the upper hand towards a man’s heart. So, not only does the sex please you, but it gives you a sense of self-worth.

You think you’re the Queen of the Nile and no one can tell you anything until that all too familiar moment when the guy proves he’s no more interested in you than the last girl he just dumped yesterday. You feel heart broken and eager for the next guy to fill that empty void in your heart. Your foolish ways keep you blinded to the fact that this endless cycle will lead to neither fulfillment nor a relationship, but only divorce, pregnancy, and more heart break. Can I tell you something that I had to learn the hard way? Please believe me when I say:

Honey, your worth is not in your vagina.

You don’t have to open your legs to get a man to love you. Your body is a treasure, not a commodity. It was bought with a hefty price of blood as God’s only Son died so you would know your worth can only be found in Him, not men or sex.

I used to be you. I let guys run in and out of my life like shoes. I wanted marriage, they wanted sex. I wanted a ring, they wanted a fling. I didn’t know who I was, my Savior, or my worth, so I settled. I didn’t know my value was in the only One who can define me. And because I refused to conduct my relationships His way, they always failed.

“My daughter, why do you run after men who don’t know me to find your worth in pleasures only designed for marriage,” He would try to tell me. “I’m the author of that man’s life and the sex you use to gratify yourself. That relationship will never give you the love you’re truly worth because I’m the One who made his life. I know his heart and I want more for you than he ever could. Yet, you refuse to obey.”

Man, I wish I had listened. If God could come down off His throne to give you the tough love you refuse to accept you could clearly see He’s trying to tell you:

Honey, your worth is not in your vagina.

I don’t care what Steve Harvey’s Think Like a Man says. That man is not God! There is no 90-day, 6-month, or 1-year mark on how long you should make a man wait before he “test drives your engine.” That’s not love, that’s manipulation. And this isn’t cars we’re talking about, it’s your life.

Sex is not a means to draw a man in to commit to you. It’s not a toy. Sex will only bring him to your body, not your heart. And waiting 90 days, or any days, to give it to him doesn’t guarantee he’ll stay with you.

Stop following the words and advice of people whose personal lives you’ve never even seen. Open your Bible and look to the One Who created you. He’s the only One you should be trusting. He wants what’s best for you.

Why does today’s world have so much divorce? Why are so many unloved kids born into families without fathers? Because the commitment lasted in the bedroom and not anything more.

We refuse to obey God’s Word to wait but then we blame Him for our problems and the way the world looks.

Unfortunately, we don’t want the God that gives us the strength to wait. We want the “god” that pays our bills, takes care of our emergencies, and only asks for our attention for two hours on Sunday morning. But, that’s not serving God, that’s serving yourself and asking God to follow you.

God gives instructions for sex to protect you, not to hinder you. He isn’t about religion, He’s about a relationship. And the worth you are seeking can’t be found in the job, sex, or men you use to define yourself. It can only be found in a relationship with Him.

Yes, the number of men who will wait on you are rare. But that’s why they are treasures. If you honor God, and it’s His will, then that guy will show up. No, waiting isn’t easy, but how much success has doing it your own way truly brought you? Be honest with yourself-you don’t just want sex. You don’t want to “chill,” you want a commitment. And you should. You’re worth it.

God’s man for you is not the one who makes you feel like you have to pull down your panties to make him stay and beat the competition! Girl, if that man really cared for you there would be no competition!

Great sex doesn’t win men’s hearts. It wins their penises, their STD’s, and their baby daddy drama. Only God wins men’s hearts, and if you want a successful relationship you’ll start going to Him first so He can win the man for you.

I hope you now understand what I mean when I say:

Honey, your vagina is not your worth.

Your female parts don’t come with a bar code or a price sticker because there’s no amount of money that defines your value. You were bought with someone’s life: Jesus. He is your worth. He will give you more fulfillment than any orgasm, man, or title ever can. He’s longing for you. Trust Him. He won’t let you down. If God can deliver me from my insecure promiscuity and into the arms of a Godly relationship then He can do it for anyone. I’m here to encourage you! Message or comment below if you need me! As always, please share the love of this post with someone else.

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For so long, I struggled with having a truly enjoyable and intimate relationship with Jesus. My goal is to help you learn God and His voice for yourself so you'll avoid the mistakes I made. Get my free devotional "Daily Time with Jesus" and take the 27 day challenge to spend consistent time with God and learn His voice.

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13 Responses

  1. gina

    wow this blogbis god sent undeniably. i really want to honor god with abstinence and i keep failing. fornication is something I’ve struggled with. I’m really finding it hard to forgive myself and do the right thing… Any tips?

    1. I think first tip would be to forgive yourself. Once you’ve repented (meaning to turn away), God considers that fault your past and no longer focuses on it. That’s how much He loves you. So, forgive and move on. If you don’t forgive yourself, it shows you don’t believe He’s forgiven you through the Cross. Accept His grace and move on. Next, I’d take a heavy look at your surroundings. Ask God to show you why you keep falling into the trap of fornication and who’s around you that doesn’t need to be. If you have any unequally yoked relationships (friendships, relationships with ppl that aren’t saved), cut it off as the Holy Spirit leads you. Negative influences lead to negative decision making. Lastly, examine your music. If your music is glorifying fornication and sin, I’m assured that stuff with enter your spirit and influence you. Your music should only glorify God. I pray this helps and if I can be of further assistance just email me at Jordonewrites@gmail.com. Love you !

  2. Renata

    So glad I found your blog! Your messages are so on point! As I was reading this, I felt I was reading about my own life. It has been a struggle, but I have come to realize the hard way as well that no man can fill my voids. I need Jesus all day every day! I too, ran from relationship to relationship only to be more frustrated and heart broken than ever! Enough was enough when my Grandmother died, and the guy I was dating at the time(that was supposed to move in with me) didn’t want to come with me to the funeral. That was my breaking point! I realized I had to make a change in my life! Thank you so much for your transparency! I appreciate it so much!

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  6. Ayo

    I was hesitant to leave a message but I am the young lady you wrote this for.I am 25 years old and presently in a relationship over a year now.From the get go,i informed my BF that i am committed to waiting….he complied but along the line we began to become more intimate doing other stuff but not sex and after each time,i feel so very empty and I just dont feel happy with myself.During our late night calls( we talk to each other every night to ask about each other’s day and pray,we pray together every night since the beginning of our relationship),I told him that i am feeling like we are taking things too far and overstepping our boundaries…I was surprised when he said he thinks i needed to take a time off to really finish my exams and think through what I wanted and that he is willingly to wait for my decision and help me keep my virginity but he just doesnt know how he will be able to deal with my total abstinence.
    I thanked him and i am just using this space to reassess my stand and really follow through.I have to be honest with you that i am also worried this could crumble my relationship with him but i just want to follow God and be happy with myself and choices.
    i know HE is faithful who has promised and HIS grace is sufficient for me.Please keep me and us in your prayers and thank you again.

    1. Hey sis ! I’m glad that you left this comment. It sounds like he wasn’t interested in giving you “time off” until he realized that he wasn’t going to get the satisfaction of “sexually playing around with you.” You were right to feel like you all were over stepping your boundaries. That’s definitely God talking to you because it’s sure not the devil. Over stepping our boundaries can only lead to sex which is why God wants us to abstain from from doing too much before marriage (feeling, touching, etc). He sounds like he never really respected your decision in the first place. Instead, he’s been hoping that you all’s sexual escapades would eventually lead to sex. When he found out that was no longer a possibility, he used your exams to escape the relationship. He values sex over you and God. If he really cared, he wouldn’t use your exams as an excuse to leave just because he can no longer get what he wants. My guess is that his heart isn’t totally dedicated toward God as much as it appears. The problem is not just that you all did too much, but rather that he doesn’t seem to be convicted about it like you are. When he said “he doesn’t know how he’ll be able to deal with your abstinence” he’s basically saying sex is a requirement for him and he’s not willing to wait for you. This issue goes deeper than sex-his heart isn’t totally pressed for GOd and that’s not someone you want leading you in a relationship. Take this time to fast from him. Intentionally replace the time you would be spending with him with God instead. Earnestly seek God for answers and understanding. But, I think you already know deep down what to do. He’s not the one and God has better. Love you sis!

  7. CC

    Amen! You’ll hear about people’s flings and they’ll glorify it but they don’t tell you about how empty they feel when they are all alone. They don’t tell you how they spend endless hours on social media jealousy looking through other people’s photos and taking suggestive pictures because they are craving attention and feel the need to be desired. They do not tell you of the nervousness they feel waiting on HIV/AIDS and STD test results from the doctor because they thought it would make a man stay or “convince” themselves they can sleep with whomever without soul ties.

    No, they glorify it. They glorify it because if they don’t, it’ll disclose just how broken they are and no one really wants to do that. You are so right. Your worth is not in your vagina. Thank you for being transparent. I pray that your words reach a young woman that needs this reassurance. Your obedience is the answered prayer to young women needing Godly wisdom and encouragement. God bless you.

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