Beware: The Sugar Daddy Syndrome

jordonewrites

Christian Writing , Growth and Development , Miscellaneous , Society and Culture

Nov 10 2014

There’s an epidemic going around that scientists are calling “SDS,” also known as “The Sugar Daddy Syndrome.”

Symptoms include the following: expecting a man to take care of you financially, expecting a man to take care of you emotionally, and expecting a man to heal your past insecurities and pain.

There is one known cure for this all too familiar disease: Jesus.

It’s unfortunate that the “sugar daddy syndrome” has not only become the norm, but it’s being embraced. Popular faces throughout the Real Housewives, Keeping Up with the Kardashians, and Basketball Wives, make you think this life is glamorous, but it’s not. It’s sad. The only difference between everyday women with sugar daddies and famous women with sugar daddies is the fame. Famous or not, these women all have the same hurt, the same insecurities, and the same pitiful dependency on a man to save their day.

Girls today are quicker to say, “I want me a baller” than “I want a man who loves the Lord.” I actually had a young girl tell me that she rather have money than to be happy. This girl was no more than 15 years old. She had barely reached puberty and already had a set idea that money had more value than her self-worth!

Where did she get such a thought? Are we doing everything we can to let our young girls know where their worth truly comes from?

If we don’t get our value from Jesus, then we’ll depend on the world to tell us who we are and what we’re worth. We’ll settle for men who really don’t deserve our time and we’ll sacrifice Godly principles for the sake of not being alone and feeling taken care of.

I used to be the queen of this lifestyle. I loved the idea of having a boyfriend and having someone to take care of my emotional needs. I expected to be taken out, not because I enjoyed eating out and knew I was worth it, but because I used him taking me out to define my worth. I wasn’t whole, so I expected the men I dated to make me whole. But, because God was never in those relationships, they never worked out. I was always left unfulfilled and heart broken.

The modern day sugar daddy is no longer limited to an older man. Heck, a sugar daddy doesn’t even have to be rich! A sugar daddy is any and every man you allow to run through your life thinking he can make you complete. You don’t know God for yourself and instead of finding your worth in Him, you hope a man can take care of your every need. But, he can’t. He wasn’t designed to be your all. Only God can do that.

God made you and your sugar daddy. He knows what’s best for you. He knows that man’s heart can’t give you what you need if he doesn’t even know his own Maker. You are so mesmerized at the idea of having someone to listen to how you feel that you never even stopped to ask the guy if he was saved. That man can’t even give you part of what you’re worth unless he knows the One Who made you.

So stop settling. Stop running from God. Attention, affection, and nice things may cover up your insecurities, but they’ll never get rid of them. Men and nice clothes can’t hide true character. Until you get your relationship with God right, your life will always reflect how you truly feel about yourself on the inside.

The interesting thing about sugar daddy relationships is that the man is usually just as insecure as the woman. That man is just as lonely and lacking just as much of a relationship with God as she is. They are both incomplete and hoping to find totality in each other. Neither get what they’re truly looking for because the fulfillment they each desire can’t be found in each other, it can only be found in God.

The sugar daddy may not admit it but deep down he recognizes she’s not with him for the love. But he doesn’t care enough about himself to leave. He’s in the relationship for the same reason she is: security.

“SDS” is not about love. It’s about compromise. Each person compromises their true value for the sake of temporary satisfaction. They are each worth so much more but don’t know it because they don’t know Who they are in God.

We need to stop glamorizing this life and start calling it what it really is: settling.

If you or someone you know is suffering from “SDS,” I want to let you know that God has so much better for you. But, you’ve got to be willing to let go and trust Him. Don’t you want the relationship you’re truly worth? Then be encouraged and learn to find your identity in Him. It’s not your man’s job to take care of you or to heal you. It’s your man’s job to love you. But, if you don’t know who you are, you’ll never be able to truly accept, recognize, or appreciate the love that you’re worth having. Let go. You can do it! Just trust God. It’s that simple. He won’t let you down. I’m here to encourage you! Message or comment below if you need me! As always, please share the love of this post with someone else