Is He Dating You or Playing You? Here’s How to Tell…


Have you ever felt like you were unsure where you stand with a certain guy?

You all may talk for a few days, but all of a sudden he seems to be absent from your life only to show back up a week later. You notice the confusion, but you’re too shy to bring it up.

Maybe he’s been texting you for months now. But, there’s still no real sign of a commitment. He may even act like he likes you behind closed doors. But, when you all see each other in public, his demeanor changes from flirty to friendly.

So, is he dating you or playing you?

All of the above scenarios have applied to my life at one point in time. My single life was a wreck because my relationship with God was a wreck. I was trying to have a loving relationship without the Author of Love (1 John 4:8), which is basically like trying to bake a cake without cake batter-there was no solid foundation for my relationships to form from. Consequently, I received less than I was worth. Every guy I chose was a reflection of who God didn’t want me to be with, which is why I would land in one or more of the situations above.

So, were they dating me or playing me?

Well, to answer that question, let’s look at what True Love does…

True Love will always…

1) Take Ownership– Lord means Owner. When God has your life, He owns you, not just out of obligation, but out of Love. Love takes ownership. Love does text you for months without ever claiming you as his. Love does not feel embarrassed to call you his girlfriend in front of other people. And love does not make you feel a relationship will add pressure to an already confusing situation. Love claims because love knows you are worth claiming.

2) Be Clear– Blurry titles and confusing statuses are less than what you deserve. God is clear about who we are to Him and anyone wanting to follow His footsteps should do the same. Love does not break up with you every three months. Love does not pop in and out of your life. Love does not tell you, “we should take a break and date other people.” Love doesn’t need to “see other people” to know your worth. Confusing titles represent unclear minds. If he’s clear about who you are, no confusion is necessary.

3) Makes Effort– Let’s be real…he’s been texting you for six months but you have yet to see his face or go on a date? The Cross, the greatest Love of all, took effort. If God knows you are worth the Cross, do you not think you’re worth a date? Stop settling! Money is not an excuse. There are plenty of free ways to have a conversation (the park, the mall, taking a walk). Someone who is interested in you will do more than invite you to his house to watch a movie. He will make the effort to get to know you.

If you’re ever confused about what Love is, look at what God is. God is not a God of confusion, disorder, or disarray. So, every true form of love will be like Him. A man who is unclear about where he is in God can’t possibly be clearer about you. Stop expecting men who don’t know their Worth to give you what you’re worth. If any of the above apply to you…he’s not dating you, he’s playing you. He may be attracted to you or hoping to eventually have sex with you, but he’s not willing to wait on you. He doesn’t know your worth so he will string you along…without a clear commitment. He’s wasting your time. But, don’t be surprised, mostly likely he’s playing God too. A man will only treat you as good as he treats God.

Ladies, it’s just as important for you to do your part. You can’t expect to receive your worth until you know your Worth. Get to know God first before diving into relationships. Find yourself in Him and let Him do the looking for you. If this blog inspired you, please share to help someone else 🙂 (other blogs on this topic are below)

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Hi, I'm Jordone.
For so long, I struggled with having a truly enjoyable and intimate relationship with Jesus. My goal is to help you learn God and His voice for yourself so you'll avoid the mistakes I made. Get my free devotional "Daily Time with Jesus" and take the 27 day challenge to spend consistent time with God and learn His voice.

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Other blogs on this topic:

1) “I Don’t Want a Relationship…Let’s Just Chill”..Here’s the Truth About Statements Like That

2) 6 Reasons to Let him Go After the First Date

3) Why Won’t God Send You a Husband?

4) The Top 5 Reasons Many Christian Women Stay Single

5) 7 Ways to Prove You Love Your Man

6) 4 Ways to Tell He’ll Never Marry You



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Why I’m Almost 30 and Not in a Rush to Get Married! + My Trip to South Africa!
4 Ways to Know You’ve Been Waiting on Your Man for Too Long

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