“I don’t want a Relationship…Let’s Just ‘Chill’…”
Man, if I could count the number of times I heard a guy tell me a statement like that. We would like each other, have sex, and I would hope he would desire a relationship with me. Of course, it never worked out this way.
Like so many others, I desired the comfort of a relationship, but because I wasn’t going about it God’s way, it never worked out. The world’s way of relationships is to have sex, then get to know each other, chill (hanging out with no purpose or no intention to marry), and maybe somewhere down the line get into a relationship. God’s way of a relationship is the complete opposite.
When you are in a Godly relationship, you aren’t just dating just to date. You realize your time is worth more than just getting a free meal on a Friday night. You are courting with the idea that you two could possibly marry each other. You don’t have sex, because you understand that not having sex before marriage teaches you to sacrifice the desires of the self for what’s better for the relationship. It also teaches you how to have patience for one another. Although God’s way of having a relationship requires patience and trust in Him, anytime you commit to something the way God’s Word instructs, you will always have His favor and honor.
The truth about ‘chilling’ is that it’s another way for a man to say, “I’m not interested in a relationship with you.” He wants your time, your body, your vagina, and even your heart, but he’s unwilling to give you a commitment. Unfortunately, there are so many relationships like this. Like I once did, girls are settling everyday to the idea of ‘chilling’ instead of receiving what they are really worth.
I was once the biggest settler of them all. I was insecure, lonely, and had no relationship with God. I wanted a man around because it made me feel good. I made an idol out of men because I was looking for them to fill my voids instead of God. But, since my life was not right with God, my relationships always reflected that.
Do you want to know something? I had to learn this the hard way but I now know that the real man that God has for you would never settle for just ‘chilling’ with you. There is a guy who will know the moment he lays eyes on you that you could potentially be his wife. However, he won’t be the one who just wants your body, but doesn’t want to give you a commitment.
I can recall the moment my current boyfriend and I first confessed our feelings for each other. I originally told him that, although I liked him, I don’t think it’s going to work out because I was living under the false assumption that the Lord wanted me to be with someone else. Do you know what his reply was? He said, “whatever it takes, I’m going to wait on you.”
I was blown away by his response. Out of all the years before God that I accepted ‘chilling,’ I had never had a guy that not only wanted a genuine commitment, but was willing to wait at whatever precautions it took.
Today, we are 7 months happily courting in a Godly relationship. We aren’t ‘chilling,’ we know we want to marry each other. We aren’t together just to fill each other’s voids or loneliness. And, most importantly, we aren’t wasting each other’s time.
My boyfriend and I enjoying some time at the lake last weekend. I’m so thankful the Lord taught me to get out of my mess before He blessed me with my one day husband. Check out his Godly blog here: www.eddiemassey.com or tweet him @eddiemasseyiii
I knew I would have never received my current boyfriend if I was still in the mindset of accepting having sex and ‘chilling’. I learned that if I wanted a Godly man who follows the Word and yearns after me, I was going to have show God that I can be that Godly woman too.
You are worth so much more than ‘chilling.’ You are worth the commitment. You are worth the wait. Trust me, God has so much for you. If you are in this situation, I pray that you let go of the little you have and open your hand for God to give you so much more. I love you. Have you ever experienced a similar situation? Tell me about it in the comment section below. Then, share this post to inspire another sister in need of encouragement.
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